So... we're still waiting for answers. But really, when aren't we waiting in life? Waiting on the webpage to load, waiting on my phone to charge, waiting on a call back, waiting for the car to warm up, waiting on the server to bring the food... waiting, waiting, waiting. You get the point.
Right now, I'm waiting on Tigger- the kitty- to realize that I'm not her mother and she can stop licking me... I don't have fur, I don't need to be groomed- well, sometimes I just don't have time to shower- but licking my hand won't fix that. :)
Trying to decide what to do for the holidays. It's always a hard time- wasn't always this way, but as I've become an adult, things have gotten more and more difficult for me. I miss the way things were when I was a kid. Christmas Eve at Mom-Mom and Pop's house, a birthday celebration for Baby Jesus, complete with a mini-parade... my cousins and I all carried in the nativity set- and I thought I was big stuff when I was promoted from camel or Wise Man--- to Baby Jesus... little did I know, it was because all my cousins were getting older and were over it. Glad they continued to play along for a few years- but nonetheless... we would have angel food cake and peppermint ice cream- sing Happy Birthday, open a shit-ton of presents and then go home and wait for Santa. In the morning, we'd have my grandparents over for breakfast after I'd ransacked the tree- (they would usually bring me another gift or two- but only cause I was their favorite--- I mean, the youngest- I was the youngest, so therefore I was spoiled-- I mean, loved. I was loved- and I got more presents than everyone-- shhh, don't tell) We'd all get cleaned up and the three of us would go out to my Grandma and Grandpa Castle's house- where we'd meet up with my cousins and aunt/uncle out there- and this is where I hit the mother load, cause my Grandma would always ask for specific gifts- and I'd always get them- the other stuff... was just by chance (still is- LOVE YOU, MOM- but I never did get that puppy OR baby sister that I asked for)
Then Mom and Dad and I would come home, crash, and I'd go hog-wild with all my new stuff...
Now- it's not the same.
Mom and Dad and I do our own thing- we go to my aunt's house Christmas Eve, where we sit while they have their big Christmas as a family- with their grandkids, my cousins, and Aunt and Uncle. Not hating them- just hate feeling like we're intruding on their family traditions After that, we all fight sleep to stay awake for Midnight Mass, where my dad and I proceed to sob through most all the Christmas music- and when we're not sobbing, we're singing our asses off... cause it's Christmas and that's what we do- see who can get through the most verses- without the book. He wins always (honestly, who remembers all 25 verses to O'Come All Ye Faithful- besides my father??)
We then sleep in (cause we're all adults) we get into our stockings while my mom is getting breakfast ready, go into the living room, I still reek havoc on the living room cause I'm spoiled- then we eat breakfast, and start to get dinner ready- invite Uncle Vic down, watch some football or "A Christmas Story," take a nap, and be done with it.
I hate being a 32-year-old adult, alone on the holidays, alone without a man, without kids- I want to see the joy on children's faces when they think of Santa- and I want to see the joy on my parents' faces when they spoil grandchildren with presents---
With all this going on with my dad, I have to wonder- will I ever get to see this or will I be the single old lady with her crazy, half-retarded cats for my whole life?
Dad doesn't even want to put up a tree this year. Neither do I... bah, humbug.
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