or would it be Moapy? Walks around with his head down, long sleeves pulled down over his hands and a slight bluish cast to his skin.... yep, that's me.
I'm just getting up, after approximately 10 hours of sleep. I'm exhausted and I'm depressed. The cats have been pestering me for about 3 hours, Tigger has gone flying through the air at least a dozen times... I just want to be left alone. I even ignored my dad's wake up call this morning. He of course called back and I answered- but I just want to crawl into a hole sometimes...
I'm sick of being single, yes it's true... but I'm more sick of being reminded that I'm alone- unintentionally of course. Date night's posted on Facebook, weddings, family road trips.... what am I to do- post about how comfortable my couch is and how I'm glad my DVR never fails me? No, no date night... I just picked up a pack of breadsticks from Hotbox and I'm gonna go to town. Just me. I ate the whole bag... and then I had a bowl of cereal.
I'm sick of feeling like this. I think it's time to call the doctor and see what I can start taking. Since Chantix has now been linked to a higher chance of heart attacks, I think I'm going to try Wellbutrin. It worked wonders while I was in college. I'm also going to talk to her about getting back on Concerta. I need to be able to stay focused at work. I love my job and am willing to do anything it takes to be sure that I stay there. (Plus, the combination really did wonders for my diet, the pounds started melting off)
It's time.
Just know that even though people are posting pictures of their family vacations and date nights does not neccessarily equal happiness. There is a perfect guy out there for you...I know that sounds like crazy talk from a married person but I am honestly telling you as a friend that there truely is someone out there....I used to not believe it!
ReplyDeleteNow that you are going to be getting off work earlier we need to have a nice fun girls night every other week or so! I don't mind meeting up after 8:30 when you get off work! We will go and scope out guys...I can be a pretty good winggirl....
So funny that you're the first person to comment- cause I was looking at my email and I was like- I didn't post a comment on my own blog- Katie..... Katie, who?! haha- I know that relationships aren't all their cracked up to be- I mean, I put on a happy face for 5 years cause I thought I was happy... turns out I was just happy I wasn't alone, and I thought I was in love, but I wasn't at all--- how could I let someone love me when I hate myself- and when 40% of the time, there was hatred and mean things coming out of his mouth?
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