Shaking my head...

I practically woke up shaking my head in disappointment and disbelief... I checked my email before I got out of bed and instantly wanted to crawl back under the covers, and probably would have, had my bladder not felt like it was going to explode. Rather than ruin my new memory foam and humiliating myself... I got up, but wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed. Luckily I made a commitment to a close family friend that I would help her with her wedding decorations, and I have over 400 paper flowers to make... at least my hands will be busy. Now, all I need is something to occupy my thoughts.
I really feel like I'm supposed to be learning this wonderful lesson from all this crap. I need guidance. I'm clearly too stupid to catch on to what I'm supposed to be getting from all this. I need a job. I want a job. I want to be working. Ideally, yes, I'd like to love what I'm doing but I will take anything. Its been 5 weeks. I'm depressed. I'm lonely and I'm bored.
I don't know what I'm saying in these interviews to turn the people off of me so quickly... I know that all this means is these jobs aren't meant to be... but what job is meant to be? Do I want to move, absolutely not... but I don't see much of a choice if this shitstorm continues.
The sad thing is, I'd rather deal with 100 breakups than deal with this ever, ever again.
Just got off the phone with the matriarch... she says, "so what if you have to break your lease, you have to break your lease" meaning, "its time to move back to ft. wayne"
I know I'd pay a lot less in rent up there... I'd be closer to my parents and family. I love Indy and the support that I have down here from my friends is priceless... really, really mean it.
Looks like the girls and I have some decisions to weigh...