Thursday, September 1, 2011

Stressed

So... I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed by a lot of things, not having a job, starting group therapy, being overly bored and alone... and not having anyone to go to events with.
I really understand that with the therapy and recovery, I'm not ready to start a relationship with anyone, but it would sure be nice to have a guy friend to date... maybe not even date... I have a wedding in 1 month and I don't want to show up alone. I'm absolutely freaking out, loosing sleep and just getting anxious about the whole thing. Makes me feel more and more alone, knowing that I will be going alone--- well, no- I'm 31 and will be going with my parents. It's pathetic.
Why is it that we feel that we have to have someone by our sides to let us know that we're alone- when in reality, I know I'm not alone and have some of the best friends a girl could ask for... but I still need a man to make me feel like I've got someone.
Why is it that the above question started out as a general statement then changed into a direct question about me?
Why does this make me feel like I'm not good enough- for anyone? It's the wedding of one of the most important people in my life... family without sharing blood... I should be happy for him, not worried about me.
Why is this consuming my thoughts?

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